kodecy

I found my Art Journal!

May 18th, 2022

Alright, it really shouldn’t seem that momentous — I can always make more art — but I found the Art journal that I had been searching for over the past three days (at least). This is the thing I started in Spring 2016, as a place to record my creative process. I’m pretty sure this must have been an ongoing assignment for my Capstone class.

This Art journal contains the seed and beginning development of a Graphic Novel. I didn’t develop it further, largely because it would be such a huge undertaking (and because I went back to Grad School after I finished my Art AA); but the bones of it — minus a non-disappointing ending — are there.

For the journal project, we were to focus on an element/concept/idea and flesh it out, over the semester. To be honest, I’m really struck now by seeing the structure behind some of my more compelling (to me) works. I’m also really surprised that this came out of me: I’m used to getting stuck on one story, but this…not only combines a lot of conflicts that I had at the time, but puts them together in a way that really feels like myself, and actually feels good.

It is possible to go into a second story with the same main character, in order to resolve the first story; the protagonist could reach out to others for help. I don’t even have to avoid the mystical stuff, because the groundwork for that is established in the first part. That sounds — actually, really — powerful.

And I know, at this point, that if I do this, it would be best to work on the story in hard copy, so I can draw (and keep my drawings filed with my text): the drawings are an integral expression of the vision of the work. It also may be very important to have it in color, though the blues are by far the most important (I could work in duotone, if I had to).

This gives the reason behind my having a bunch of Marker paper in large sizes: I was illustrating this with fineliners and Pitt brush pens, and had begun to add Copics and opaque liners (like Derwent Line Painters; apparently, these are still being made).

I kind of can’t believe I forgot about this context; I also kind of can’t believe I found all of this encapsulated in one book! Apparently, I was organized?

I also see references within the book, particularly to one post on an old blog of mine, where more of this information was recorded. A long time ago, a contact at a local Art Supply store gave me the name of a local print shop where I could scan my work: that never really crystallized, both because I went back to Library School, and because COVID happened.

Not having the slip of paper with me (I really should transcribe this stuff), I’m not sure if they are even still in existence; but I…am thinking that this shouldn’t be an issue. At least, that’s what M is leading me to believe–!

I’m trying to make a deal with myself to get to bed by 10:30 for at least three days this week: I should probably log off, at the moment. Maybe if I get up early enough tomorrow, I can work on this…
Wrapping up the semester

May 17th, 2022

Well, I’m back. Things are a lot cleaner right now — I’ve gotten the set of 20+ titles that had been piled up around here, stashed away…finally. Those things have been haunting me for months. I wasn’t even reading them (!), because I was trying to keep a semblance of order (with stacks of books piled around my room; the order of the stacks, mattered). Now, I guess, I have the time to actually take them in.

(Maybe first up: Personality, by Daniel Nettle? Nettle is incredibly readable!)

And…the four piles of paper that were lying around, are now only one pile of paper…

There’s a lot more going on. Today (or rather, yesterday) has been about wrapping up last semester and preparing for the upcoming several months. I’ve also been thinking about my own creative practices.

There are certain things to begin to undertake, however, which can also become priorities now that the semester has ended. Particularly, I’m looking back at Spanish language and Python skills acquisition (with the amount of training per-day and per-week to be determined), plus a third short-term class, later on. Those are all career-related; I’ll just have to reset my mind to the newer places to engage for lessons. Spanish will be more accessible than Japanese language; of that, I’m pretty certain.

I did find a Planner, which is working. It was so expensive that I really hate to list what it is at the moment, however. It replaced my last two journals, including the Bullet Journal and the Sleep Log. I predicted having a slew of new responsibilities competing for my time: it seems I was right to forecast this. It was also okay to pay the high price, to avoid having to search for the same functionality in other planners.

I learned this from having tried for years to get the same or better quality than Copic markers, only to find out that hey…Copics aren’t all that earth-shattering. If I had tried them first, I would have seen right off if they were worth their status. (I don’t know for certain if it would have saved me any money.) At the time I heard of Copics, I was a young adult dealing with the anime circuit…and it could have been that people wanted these just because they were out of reach.

Copic markers are stupidly expensive, and I have a hard time justifying buying a new marker for each shade of grey, when I could work with dip pen and brush; and bottled ink, water, and a palette; and have near-infinite shades of grey with more different customizable applicators, for a fraction of the cost. The drawback here is needing to control the flow of water on the paper and in the brushes, but I think that’s an achievable (and in my mind, laudable) goal. The biggest challenge in watercolor, seems to be water control (also, planning; and color mixing/color harmony).

Having said that: I haven’t tried the Copic SP Multiliners, but from having Sakura Pigma Micron pens dry out on me, and having their tips widen (or split) over the course of use, I’m looking at the eventual possibility of buying refillable marker housing and nib sets, then filling them with Copic’s waterproof ink. (The SPs have aluminum housing; the regular [disposable] Multiliners have a plastic housing.)

I only say this because Copic makes really gorgeous fineliners. They go finer than Microns, and seem to be more durable. Being able to replace just the nib after it wears down is tempting — and it would prevent me from buying a Rapidograph set (although with my current knowledge of pen maintenance, maybe Rapidographs wouldn’t be so bad).

I don’t need them right now, at all: I did get a few new replacement Microns because they were 1/3 of the cost of the regular Multiliners.

One thing I did find, while avoiding the Copic markers — I’m not talking about the fineliners, in this case — the inks in both Tombow brush pens, and Stabilo (both their “88” fineliners and “68” bullet-point nibs) are water-soluble, meaning it’s possible to spread and blend the inks with water and a brush, even after they’ve dried. I wouldn’t have known that, otherwise!

I also wouldn’t know about the color stability of Faber-Castell Pitt brush pens (excluding the metallics)…though I can’t find the art journal in which I played with them the most. Copics, for me, are closer in behavior to Chartpak markers, the latter of which are solvent-based. (Copics are alcohol-based.) Both of these brands bleed, a lot, but Chartpaks, more so.

Chartpaks — at least for a while — were the only xylene-based marker still sold in the US. As such, it’s possible to get sick (I got a headache, the first and last time I made this mistake) from acute overexposure to the fumes; meaning, use them with a source of fresh air, or an evacuation hood, if you’ve got one. These are also apparently the things that people huff and get addicted to…and it’s not only acute symptoms one has to be concerned about. They also constantly off-gas, even when capped.

Not great, if you’re looking for safety; however, they seem to have reduced the xylene content to the point that the markers themselves no longer require a Caution Label. The thing is, whatever they’re using as solvent in the Chartpaks, do make them blend exceptionally well — if you can alter your working method to account for the inevitable bleeding.

For me, it wasn’t a big jump to fluid media and brushes, once I had hit the point of using markers. Paints can be blended and the touch on the substrate determined with a chosen applicator. You aren’t limited to glazing standardized pre-mixed colors and whatever nib size and shape and softness you have installed (of which there are often only a few choices) — and then have to buy more if you want a different nib or a slightly different hue or saturation. Painting isn’t as easily direct and controllable as drawing, but there’s a lot of freedom to be had, once one gets to the point of using markers — which, for me, was a step up from graphite, colored pencil and pastel/charcoal.

…Which reminds me, I could very likely do something nice very soon, with the technique I began to develop: underpainting with watercolors, then drawing over the top with colored pencil. (The only issue is the opacity and lightfastness of the pencil.) I began to do this with the cheaper watercolors, like Prang, and Reeves; as I know they’re nontoxic, and any Prang or Reeves paint scrubbed up with a pencil tip will likely not harm me. (I don’t expect the same to be true of Cerulean or Aureolin, for example.) I also then don’t feel bad about “cheapening” a watercolor by drawing on it (though no one has told me that anything I do will “cheapen” a watercolor painting — online snubs about gouache, excepted).

The issue here, becomes substrate: watercolors or acrylics (or acrylic inks) require a different, much more expensive, paper or canvas to work on. Markers, along with pencil, colored pencil, and pastel, are considered dry media. Paint, or ink and brush, are obviously, not…and this is where what I’ve painted on has unfortunately begun to become precious.

A counterpoint to this is the fact that I have heard people talking about the sizing in Watercolor paper (often gelatin), effectively expiring and no longer working properly. So the paper doesn’t last forever. That might be enough to spur me to work on it. It’s meant to be used, that is; not to expire while it’s waiting to be used.

I have enough materials; the hard part is knowing that I can’t just jump to, “not wasting,” these supplies, as I have to learn how to use them, first. And that — of necessity — requires sacrificing some really nice paper (unless I use something like Yupo, and rinse it off every time I’m done using it…but Yupo has its own quirks).

I’m hoping that practicing value sketches and the like, before attempting a painting, will help with this — and I’ve just realized that this is what one of my instructors had us do, with black watercolor. (I think I used Holbein Lamp Black…which is annoying when the brush starts to chatter and wipe it up off of the paper. There are benefits, sometimes, to using natural-hair brushes!)

I know that others would like me just to jump in and ruin the paper with frenzied dreams and high expectations, but I don’t work like that. I’m process-oriented. I see pitfalls before they arise; and essentially, a piece of watercolor paper is like a canvas, only I don’t think it’s possible to reuse it (other than flipping it over to use the back).

Would it be sad if in my anxiety about process, I’d sound like someone who would love and use watercolors? Maybe I just sound like me, overthinking things and trying to plan my way out of a ditch, again.

I do have Mixed Media paper and Wet Media paper, which aren’t as expensive as Watercolor paper, but I’m concerned about optimal flow of my watercolors (though this may only matter wet-in-wet: which isn’t my go-to technique). Everyone who has ever recommended any specific watercolor paper to me, has said to buy the best one can afford — here, that’s Arches. (Is it always Arches?) To be blunt, though — I’ve seen some pretty good work by good artists, on different paper: is this a Copic dynamic, again?

Having the most expensive materials doesn’t make one’s art better, after all; at best, it makes it easier. (Or, it makes it possible.) Materials aren’t a substitute for skill or practice or learning…and I don’t know how many people understand that. (Do I understand it?)

I can also try and see how Watercolor paper (usually 100% cotton rag) stands up to layered dry media. There’s no way to see how it works, without trying it…kind of like how I’ve learned that Canson Montval watercolor paper is best for gouache and acrylic ink. It’s also not bad when layering colored pencil over the top. The Montval just falls short where it comes to best displaying transparent watercolors. I only found that out through reviewing consistently ugly watercolors in my Montval sketchbooks…where work done on other papers, was relatively beautiful. Just because it’s called a “watercolor paper” doesn’t mean it fulfills that function, all that well…

The upsides of Copic markers (as versus Chartpaks) are, 1) they’re alcohol-based, so that’s at least a more familiar toxin; 2) they bleed less extravagantly; 3) they blend like the Chartpaks, at least when used on the correct paper (marker paper, which is usually translucent).

Then there are the Poscas: opaque acrylic-ink markers. I’ve been told they are to Europe, what Sharpies are to Americans. (Sharpies discolor over years, which is why I don’t use them for finished art…but I really don’t feel like looking up the reference, right now. Someone’s faded Sharpie art is on the Internet: there’s a hint.)

Poscas are super fun, but you have to shake them before you use them, as they use pigment ink. To my knowledge, their only drawback is that they can “spray” (the nib can get caught on the paper and splatter ink on your work) very easily, if you push a stroke rather than pull it. This might be avoidable with the right substrate, but I haven’t found that substrate, yet.

But you can see everything I did to try and avoid buying Copics…? And then I got Copics, and wasn’t greatly impressed (though that could have been because I had so much more experience with everything else). Also: can you imagine how much I must have spent on Copic-surrogates over the years, instead of just getting the Copics? I could have stopped hoping for “the best” in 2016, and moved on to everything else — inexpensive and not — without delusion.

But on topics other than spending a lot of money by trying not to buy expensive stuff…there is even more change going on in my life.

I’m getting a new counselor (which is ground-shaking enough, but I am not making progress with my current one, even if we do get along); and I should have a job interview coming up, sooner rather than later. If I get the job, I’ve been reminded, I don’t have to stay. Already having a backup plan for Fall semester may be useful if I either: 1) don’t get the job, or 2) can’t tolerate it.

I also have a submission in for an Indexing internship, regardless of whether the regular job turns out. I really need to expand my job search strategy, however: I think I’ve found a lot of niche sites and have been avoiding the big names. I do seem to have gained a bit of a grip, however, where it comes to job search. At least I know something of what I’m looking for, now. I also know not to stop looking, now.

At the moment, it is about 4 AM in my locale. I don’t remember when I started writing this post, but the Revision menu says it was first saved, seven hours ago. (This is what I mean, when I say I write easily and prolifically!) Later today, after I get some rest, I should vacuum and change the sheets on my bed. I might also clean the shower and maybe the counter and sink in the vanity, and begin my laundry.

I also just remembered that I have an additional time pressure, tomorrow. Ugh. Well; first up, are changing the sheets and vacuuming, then laundry.

Anything else is gravy, let’s say.

In writing this, I’ve also realized that Art practice is anchoring, for me. I mean, it’s a constant. I didn’t realize that, before…but maybe that’s why I’ve spent so long writing this.
Goals and priorities

May 7th, 2022

From time to time I come back to this blog, which reminds me of what my activities and priorities have been. Oddly enough, it’s easier to find this information here, than it is to find it in my paper journals. Thanks, HyperText.

Anyway, yesterday I had a very, very “flat” day. That is, it was hard to think of anything I actually wanted to do. I do have things I have to do, but still a while before my nearest deadline. That’s not to say that I shouldn’t get started on it, now: I should. It will keep me from stressing, later. The thing is, I can actually feel when new neural connections are forming, and it’s not all the time pleasant.

I mean, if it were all the time pleasant, there wouldn’t be a need for truancy to be illegal. People would actually like to learn. It can be nice to learn; not so nice to fail at learning — although I’m not so much failing, as missing obvious mistakes. The fact is, however: failing is an integral part of learning.

There are certain things that I need to take care of on a regular basis. Hygiene, exercise, taking care of (healthy) food, and taking care of my spaces, count among these. Then there are the things I need to be doing as career preparation: practicing other languages, practicing coding, homework/study, and job search. After that, come the creative pursuits, which (fortunately or not) are often the uppermost things in my mind: art practice, doing 15 minutes a day of free-writing. After that, come reading, blogging, and assorted other little things, like pen maintenance.

I do feel the need to start an outline, here. I’m not sure I’m going to be able to do it on the computer, without drawing; and I don’t know how far a planner (on top of a Bullet Journal) will help. I am thinking that planning out each day like I would a workday, however, should help with keeping on top of all of my priorities — if I can have the discipline to follow it, and the flexibility to change course when needed.

Already, I have an idea of what Fall Semester will be like for me — if I don’t get another job in the meantime. I’m hoping to take on part-time work, and I’ll have a commitment of 20-30 hours/week for classes — I just looked it up. Just like I were a Master’s student, again. But that should be it, for University.

Although this is what I’m looking forward to…I can’t plan out everything that far ahead. Particularly speaking, I also have my language (a review of Spanish, which should help launch me into reading Spanish; there’s also no reason I can’t work on kanji acquisition) and coding classes to think about, meaning that without on-the-job training, I may not be ready to enter the professional job market until early next year.

And yes, time ticking forward is a concern for me. There is the option of not taking classes in the Fall, but that leaves me to learn XML (a future foundational skill) and Linked Data (another future skill), on my own. Particularly, XML is a key skill that I did not intensively learn on my first round through Grad School. Linked Data is more of a hint of things to come: Cataloging is not going to stay the same, going forward. I’ll need to understand XML and Linked Data, in order to avoid becoming obsolete when the switchover does happen.

At the same time, I should be working on Python skills, at the least. I might also want to update my HTML/CSS skills…and get into some of the toolkits that are used by Catalogers.

After that, I’m looking at getting more heavily involved with the ALA, updating my Metadata skills, practicing Cataloging and Classification on my own, and going back into further XML classes. By that time, I should be fairly solid in my knowledge, although they’ll mostly prepare me for Cataloging, Metadata Librarianship, and Archives work. And…there’s no guarantee that I’ll be able to find a job in my local area: though trust me, my prospects would be worse, if we moved to where we had been thinking of moving to.

…Which reminds me that I need to start practicing driving, again. That…that will likely not be fun. But I have the time to do it. Cooking is also another life skill that I need to be practicing. Ugh. Well — with things opening up again, I may actually be able to look up some good recipes to practice with; and, be able to make them. I guess I should understand that I don’t have to do it every day — for now.

I am wondering if my parents are right: they say that the fact I put ten years into working in a Public Library system, means that I don’t need to do an Internship. Fact is, nine out of the ten of those years were working-class labor, not even paraprofessional. What I learned, I majorly learned after leaving: that I did not have to put myself through that.

But, I suppose everyone who has worked in a Library before and is going into Cataloging, would feel that way. For me, the major turning point was realizing that there was really nothing I could do to make having to deal with random people (or co-workers), be more comfortable for me.

I didn’t get to that point until doing specific research on Personality…and stumbling across a lot of information on high-functioning Autism and (secondarily) its relation to both gender-nonbinary identity, and a disorder I know I have; which I’m still dealing with. Not having a background in Psychology (or help from Psychiatry) is not the greatest thing when you’re trying to puzzle this out.

And yeah: at a certain point, I do ask whether it is really actually worth it to keep up my Creative practices — or if, in the transition to adulthood, many people just do not find or make the time for these, anymore. I know that no matter what I do, I’m going to have to write. There’s really no question about it: I become disorganized and anchorless when I don’t record and develop my thoughts, in writing.

There’s also the fact that when I’m writing to an audience, that’s a very different type of practice than recording my thoughts to myself. Especially if I range into quasi-memoir or creative nonfiction, where it’s not only myself I’m potentially causing to look bad. (Though I should remember: sometimes things look bad, because they actually are bad.)

Right now, though, it does seem that Art and Creative Writing, although I’ve stuck with them for a while, are two of the least useful skills I have…even though they are what I started out with. Right now I’m not sure to what extent I should even continue with them…although, of course, this comes after having bought a bunch of Art Supplies.

The point of having the career was so that I would have the time, energy, and money to do these things! But having the career — and further becoming a fully functional, independent adult — itself, takes up a lot of time and energy. And money.

Also, of course, there’s the possibility of the new career path, not working out…which would likely then drop me back down to depending on my skills in reading, Writing, and Art. I’m still not certain I have the Art skills to be able to get through the major story that has been developing in the back of my mind since High School — in a Graphic Novel format, that is. Writing should be easier, but even then: it would be emotionally, tough.

Particularly…writing a story which in someone else’s hands might be a love story, but which has the sexuality portion stripped away from it…means that I’m writing an intimate story with nonbinary characters from an asexual perspective, and I haven’t read anything like this in my life. That could be reason enough to write it…

After all, there is enough for a, “slightly Autistic,” nonbinary asexual person to look forward to in life, isn’t there? It’s just different from whatever the norm is, and why the norm is what it is, has never been clear…
Backup plan

April 28th, 2022

Earlier, one of my relatives called. I heard my name mentioned and got out of bed to start wandering around the house. It seems that myself, my mother, and my sibling are not the only people to have gotten the art bug, in my family! Because of everything that’s happened recently, and even before, I haven’t been the most talkative person where it comes to my relatives.

When I approached with some advice for a young artist, expecting to relay it through my mother, she handed the phone to me and told me to talk. (!) The thing I was going to say was to have a second objective in mind where it comes to Art, as it gives a person more creative freedom when they don’t have to make things to others’ specifications. That is, be sure to have a way to make a living, so you don’t have to depend totally on sales of your art to survive. The market is not necessarily the greatest arbiter of value, and I was even told (by an Art instructor, when I asked about career options) that it’s hard to make a living off of Art alone, without another angle on it.

I feel a bit wobbly about having said that, however: what if my cousin does give it everything, take the chance, and make it? She could also find a path that none of us have taken. I don’t want to say that there’s no money in Art; unfortunately, the problem in a capitalist society is how to monetize it. I would believe that most of the Art jobs would be directly or indirectly related to Marketing — or going out on one’s own, and getting into shows and galleries as a self-employed person. Of course, there’s also the steady stream of work one has to be willing and able to produce — though I don’t think that will be a problem for her.

I’ve considered the possibility of throwing myself fully into the Commercial Art world, and working as a Graphic Designer, or Jewelry Designer, or Illustrator, etc.: something I actually can sell. I am thinking it actually is possible to make a living this way — but I am not steady enough in my own confidence around my creative ability, to do so. Perhaps more to the point, I’m not sure I love Art enough, to do so. (I have for a long time considered what I would do if I were a Visual Artist, and lost my vision.) This is as versus Writing, and leaving enough open space in my mind to potentially accept work with, and love of, the possibilities people are building with technology.

Right now, I’m looking at possibly acquiring two more languages, plus coding and Professional Development. That’s a far cry from Jewelry or Fashion Design (!) — even though at one time it could have been a more realistic possibility. But would an Arts degree stimulate my analytical side, enough? Am I willing to put in the work to make visually interesting or meaningful images all day, every day? Do I love it that much, or will I — for instance — paint, when I have time, as a mental and emotional release? Is it more important to sell, or to make? Is the reward external, or internal?

I’m sorry, I’ve just come off of some reading which reminded me of the open-source movement…alternative forms of being in the world have come to my mind, and I seem to be rediscovering the reason I got into Libraries, in the first place.

For myself, it’s often stressful when other peoples’ desires get worked into the process of artmaking, although I only know this through small-scale beadwork affairs. If you’re an artist, it can be tough when someone wants work done to their specifications…which can then be difficult to fulfill. I’ve found myself guessing at what someone wants, from what little they’ve told me, as versus following my own aesthetic senses.

Autonomy is important to me, that is, and that’s likely related in some way to my own need for intellectual integrity…which in turn, means that I will likely be happiest with a job that brings in survival money and benefits, plus enough time and resources to do my own art on the side, whether or not it sells.

That may mean I have less time to refine my skills, and not live up to my full potential as an artist. But, so long as I’m still creating, why should that matter to me? Valuation matters to auctioneers, not necessarily to the creator.

And what is money, anyway, when it comes to art? What does the exchange of money for art mean, unless it goes to the artist, and helps them live and keep doing what they love to do? Supplying materials to collectors and speculators just doesn’t strike me as, well…let’s say they aren’t my target market. But I’ve never sold a painting, and to be honest…well, it would be kind of weird if someone bought my Community College self-portraits.
Overtones

April 25th, 2022

Again, I’m starting this entry without a picture in hand, 🙂 but recent events have gotten me to the point of realizing another something very special: “Appreciate what you have, before buying more.” This applies in a number of areas: paints, paintbrushes, books, beads, pens, inks, papers.

I’ve also come to the point where I know I am a bit tired of what I have been working on. The painting, that is. I’ve been working on it for months, very sporadically. It is an echo of someone else’s work which I took on because M desired to have a more permanent version of it. I can feel myself wanting to do something else, however.

Probably, this is understandable, given that there are creative boundaries going on here — I’m not sure to what extent to “copy” the work, and to what extent to build upon the foundation given. Most particularly, this applies to the color scheme: the original is mostly in earth tones and blues. It’s also characteristic of what has happened when I’ve taken on projects with design input or requests from others. It’s just not, totally, mine. And actually, I think I went over this very problem on one of my other blogs. It’s why I decided not to do custom work for payment — I give up too much autonomy. Where is the room for my vision?

It’s very…apparent, to me, where I have an incomprehensible, unexplainable love of color, and the painting I’m re-making does not take advantage of that, at all.

Today I just tested out two different red pigments, and actually understood what people were talking about online when they mentioned, “color overtone,” as versus, “color undertone,” and, “masstone.”

Unfortunately, I literally have little to no idea where the initial explanation (the one that actually explained something about the phenomena, and made sense) is. My best recollection is that it is somewhere on WetCanvas, but I have no idea which thread (or in what year I even accessed it). I’ve linked to a discussion which does go over the differences, though. (You’ll see some of the main players repeating the same information in different threads on the same site.)

Fortunately, if the differences distinguishing between “undertone” and “overtone” remain constant, there’s the chance that the distinctions between the terms may also remain relatively constant between explanations. (Note that I am not referencing definitions for the same terms when used in cosmetics, or the same terms as used in music…)

An undertone, in this sense, may be the color that displays itself when paint is applied as a glaze or wash (applied thinly with a palette knife, or diluted with a clear medium [like acrylic gel medium] or water), whereas an overtone is the direction the color leans when it is physically mixed with white. (Overtone and undertone do not necessarily show the same hue shifts.) A masstone, then, would be the color which appears in a thick application (as on the color swatches applied to the tubes I used — this is something Golden does which is, actually, very nice).

Paint swatches indicating masstone and opacity at the top of Golden Heavy Body Acrylic Paint tubes.

This has been very apparent in my experimenting with Golden’s Naphthol Red Light (PR112), as versus Golden’s Pyrrole Red Light (PR255). In looking at the masstone, especially on a computer screen, these colors…well, let me say that trying to communicate subtle color differences through a computer screen from a digital photo or scan is almost a useless thing, although in some cases, it works. At best, you get a good approximation of the actual color, and an idea of the relationships between different colors within the same image.

Caveat: I have not calibrated the screen I normally use to match, as closely as possible, true color: I have long ago forgotten how to do this (if I ever knew)!

In real life, however: Naphthol Red Light and Pyrrole Red Light appear almost indistinguishable, in masstone. The above image compares the masstone and opacity swatches on both paint tubes. I’ve tried to use indirect daylight here (in all but my last image, which was taken years ago), in an attempt to approximate the actual colors.

PR255 (Pyrrole) is noticeably warmer in temperature and oranger in overtone, even in a photo, but the (relatively) blue-leaning tendency, or overtone, of PR112 (Naphthol) is mostly not noticeable until adding white. At that point, it looks a bit more like a floral than a flesh tone (though who says flesh tones have to be what any one person thinks they are?). In these mixes, I used Golden Titanium White (PW6), which does lean a little bluish.

Pyrrole Red Light plus Titanium White (top); Naphthol Red Light plus the same white (bottom).

When Naphthol Red Light is mixed with Liquitex Ultramarine (PB29), the violet that results is not the stark blue-violet which I’m used to (rivaling Liquitex Dioxazine Purple [PV23 RS] — from mixing Ultramarine [PB29], with Liquitex Quinacridone Magenta [PR122]), but something warmer, just a little too bluish to be eggplant (of course, that could be due to my proportions: I had to end my mixing session before I could fully investigate). This mixture of Naphthol Red Light and Ultramarine, also greys out very quickly when mixed with Titanium White.

I would expect Pyrrole Red Light to make a much duller violet when mixed with Ultramarine, as it has a strong orange bias — but the orange bias is, in fact, the reason I got it. Having primaries with differing color biases does seriously affect the colors you can mix with them. Because I predicted such poor results in attempting a violet with the Pyrrole, I did not get around to mixing it in this session.

I also tried mixing both reds with Liquitex Yellow Medium Azo (PY74), to see if there were appreciable differences in the oranges that would result. I predicted the Pyrrole Red Light would make a more luminous orange, as I was using an orange-leaning red with an middling, intense yellow. It did make oranges which were easily more yellow in tone than the Naphthol Red Light.

The Naphthol Red Light did have a much higher tinting strength than the Pyrrole Red Light.

Kind of predictably, the Naphthol Red Light resulted in more intense red-oranges; I don’t know why just a little violet bias in the red makes a mixture look, “redder,” but then, there is the fact that magenta plus yellow makes red (in a subtractive color model, at least).

What we’re told in elementary school about “red” being a primary color, and thus unobtainable from the mixture of any other colors, is an oversimplification. Red isn’t exactly the same as magenta, anymore than blue is exactly the same as cyan. Both “red” and “blue” may be classes which contain colors such as “magenta” and “cyan” as members, respectively. Magenta is red enough for my mixing purposes, however (it could only otherwise be considered a violet), and I don’t think there’s currently any PM color designation. 🙂 Not like that matters, but…well, let me just say that color names (and to some extent, color models) are cultural in nature.

There is a bit of a violet color bias present in the magenta. Does this similarity in color bias between Naphthol Red Light and magenta, create a more intensely “red” red-orange too, as versus an orange-leaning red plus the same yellow? It makes sense somehow, but it’s hard to think out, analytically.

Somewhat less predictably, the Naphthol was much more powerful at tinting the Yellow Medium Azo, than was Pyrrole Red Light. Maybe I had too much on my brush, but it was very difficult to get rid of that last hint of Naphthol! Did I overload my brush? Is it possible to overload my brush? The Pyrrole made a bright red-orange through a glowing yellow-orange, but without the unusually high tinting strength.

After rinsing my brush, I’ve got to remember to put Glazing Medium into the bristles, before dipping it into the paint. Otherwise, I can get weird paint bleeds when trying to do wet-in-wet blending (as in my second photo with the Naphthol color).

In any case, the big-picture differences between the Naphthol Red and the Pyrrole Red appear so minor as not to be greatly significant — with the possible (uninvestigated) exception of the mixed violets which are always so troublesome to the new painter. What is significant, I can see, is using a consistent set of colors for a painting. In mixing the oranges and the one violet, plus creating the tints of each red, I can see the Pyrrole Red harmonizing with the oranges made with the Pyrrole Red. I also see harmony between the Naphthol Red and the red-oranges and violet I mixed with it — though moreso, with the pinks and the violet. I don’t know why the red-orange isn’t as aligned…maybe it is because Naphthol Red Light leans blue, and both the pinks and violet are bluish?

Because of this, I’m considering intentionally using a limited palette in the near future, to see what moods I can get to arise; although using more than one primary red could be interesting, so long as I blended them. I actually have a drawing I did a while back — and the reference photo to go with it — in which I could use these warm colors and see where I could take it:

From February 2016.

I did the above in NeoColor I wax pastels, years ago. The black paper, I have now realized, cannot be Artagain paper, which I originally thought it was: it’s way too thin, and still has indented lines from how it was made. It’s also much larger than my largest Artagain pad, at 15″ x 25″. I recalled Artagain coal black paper to be prone to fading, but — after having been through much of my archive, just now — I’m not sure exactly which black paper I used, where (at this point I have at least two large pads of heavy black paper of different brands), and should probably withdraw the statement at this point in time.

I should also note that the original drawing is (at least, now) much fainter than the image, above — which is even more reason to rework it in paints.

I did not use any medium to liquefy the NeoColors, but they also come in water-soluble form (NeoColor IIs), in more colors than the water resistant NeoColor Is (I think there are 40 different NeoColor Is, and 84 different NeoColor IIs, at present. EDIT, 5/18/22: There are 50 different NeoColor Is; ten of them are metallics). I found the Neocolor IIs so grainy when liquefied, however, that I decided to stick with the water-resistant originals. Unfortunately, I don’t know if that means that I then cannot use these as underdrawings on canvas…if I’m working in acrylics (which are water-based), that is. Oil painters may have a different experience.

I’m surprised at the painterly quality of these…it does look like a good idea to use them for preliminary studies for paintings (even if not underdrawings)! This is as versus doing line drawings in pencil: I need to get more into using value and blocks of color.

Maybe that will energize my work more, at this point?

In any case — I have realized that I’ve been doing a lot of buying and not a lot of work, with what I’m buying. I believe that if I did the work, it would relieve the urge to buy more (the latter of which, may stem from feeling starved for the work) — although I did find some brushes which are so beautiful that it really makes me want to get more. No, I haven’t used them yet. Ugh.

The hog-bristle brushes which I’m using (I’m sorry — I said these were not interlocked-bristle, but they are), are just a bit inaccurate and hairy, at the beginning and end of a stroke. The thing is, it’s not like they are unusable. They just are what they are. They have texture, and there is a place for texture. Is that all the time what I want, though?

And I can kind of see why people used to point brushes with their mouths, being entirely ignorant of toxicology (or otherwise having a death wish…which would not be unusual). Pointing a brush with your mouth is never advised, by the way. It can kill you, depending on your pigments (see, for example, the book Radium Girls by Kate Moore), and poisoning isn’t a nice way to go. It’s better just to buy a brush that will hold a point at the same time as it will disperse your paint in the way you want it to.

Holding a point isn’t always the hard part. It’s the paint release that gets me — but maybe this is less of a problem when using heavy-body paints, than with watercolors. I haven’t returned to the canvas for long enough to really know how my brushes are performing, or what size and shape brushes I actually may need, if I were to purchase more.

It’s always easier to shop than it is to work, however.

I think I’ll get back to that painting — you know, the one of which, I said I was getting tired. I can make some good progress on it today, while the sun is up. The quicker it’s done, that is, the quicker I can get on to other things…
Engaging with “real life”

April 21st, 2022

It’s been a rather eventful past week. There has, in fact, been so much happening that I’ve neglected to keep up my daily writing practice, and my art practice. As much as that could be a setback where it comes to pursuing my personal goals (which are, or were: relying on my writing and/or my art, possibly for income [?]), it has also been the case that within the past week, I’ve gotten a lot done in regard to jobs and my ongoing education. As well, I can find a much greater return being a Professional in some capacity, than I can, in writing or art.

It also hasn’t been the case that I haven’t been writing at all: it is the case that I’ve been working things out in writing and not posting them, and also that I’ve been working on a job application, in addition to expanding my online job search. In addition to that, I’ve been doing research on certain job titles in which I thought I might be interested.

If you’ve ever seen this blog before, you’ll also notice that I’ve eliminated the white-on-black text, as I noticed it was making my vision blurry, even when my eyes weren’t tired: with or without glasses. Hopefully, the new color scheme will be a bit more optically-friendly. The links are black for now, in the interest of accessibility. There weren’t many other options, unless I changed the background or the Theme: vivid color saturation may attract attention, but that doesn’t mean text written in it, is readable. For now, links should be marked by a dotted underline.

As I’ve been reviewing this site, I’ve noticed that there are a couple of things that have changed on my end. For one thing, I’ve done some research on Academic Librarianship, and have realized that I may indeed be (a lot) better off in aiming for an Information Organization role, than an Academic Librarian one (the latter of which, I’m relatively unprepared for).

In addition — I don’t know where I got this — I recall reading something about how most Technical Services departments (which include Information Organization) are in Academic Libraries. So I would also be able to benefit from and contribute to EDI (Equity, Diversity, and Inclusion) initiatives, even if I wasn’t on the front lines.

As well, within Information Organization paths, there is much more wiggle room where it comes to being social. One of the Librarians I’ve spoken to, even said that the situation was intolerable for her because she was alone. I don’t mind being alone: and anyway, it’s not quite alone, because you still have the Cataloging community. It also (for me) isn’t quite alone, because you have the books. Books, talk; even if they are asynchronous.

I spoke about the possibility of becoming an Academic Librarian with an Art History subject specialization, in my last post. It sounded good…until I realized I had no solid knowledge on what Academic Librarians actually do, and if it required daily public contact. (I realized this through drafting a letter, which I ended up not sending. Just now, I found it in my records.)

Face-to-face interaction — with random people — is not something I find joy in. Or maybe I should modify that: I don’t like talking to anyone and everyone. I can talk to people, but I don’t often seek to do it, unless there’s a need to do so (or I know the people and we have a working mutual understanding of our relationship)…and to be honest, dealing with random people, some of whom were inebriated, abusive, or hostile, was the most anxiety-inducing part of my last two jobs. I know I’m not alone, here. Customer Service must be nerve-wracking even for people who don’t have my condition…or, at least, that’s my perspective.

In the past, I’ve mistaken the simple titles of, “Librarian,” and more recently, “Academic Librarian,” to mean that these roles are somehow more basic to the industry, but in reality — those are also specializations. They just happen to be more social specializations…which appear to be the unspoken norm. Why being social is the norm, I’m not particularly sure.

I know that I’m “slightly” on the spectrum, however (to quote one of my old doctors). To consciously be able to understand that this factor contributes to (or at least describes) why I am the way I am, which also actually is the way a lot of other people also are, does feel better than having no information at all.

I mean, you know: it’s biology. Not a personal fault; not something easily (if at all) changeable. I need to find my people, rather than trying to emulate a neurotypical person whom I’ll never actually be.

I guess it’s like realizing I’m an ethnic minority: who I am is normal to me, but not to others (and there is a name for it, and there are other people in similar positions; as I recently realized all Japanese-American people rooted on the West Coast who have been in the country for three generations or more, probably have ties to the WWII Internment). Still, though; if this only affects me “slightly,” how deep must autism go? I have been told, however, that another of my diagnoses also reduces proclivities for social activity…but I didn’t know that before this year.

I do wonder just how much I should really trust self-administered personality assessments, given that I have at least two clinically significant factors to consider…and don’t know if they are just what happens to people on the extreme ends of the bell curve, or whether my personality and the known conditions that affect me, are separate. It’s annoying when you go through a battery of tests and then aren’t told everything that matters about what was learned. Granted, I was maybe 21 years old, when I was assessed.

In any case, my research indicates that I won’t necessarily be happy in trying to make myself more social (if, that is, my introversion and level of emotional stability, etc., are inherent and fundamental to my personality). I wish I had known this, 15 years ago! (You mean, I didn’t have to struggle through trying to acclimate myself to people all that time? Really? You mean, I can’t change this? I don’t have to try to change this?)

I’ve also realized that — unless I want to, I don’t really need to put myself through an Art History degree, and maybe shouldn’t, for the sake of my mental health. None of us are getting younger, that is, and I don’t want to be caught without a means of support and going into debt, if my family can no longer care for me. (To be honest, if cost versus future gain were not a factor, I’d go for an MFA, anyway.) I don’t need an Art History MA to be an artist, and I don’t need it to write about Art (it would just make me more informed). I might be OK with doing Art on the side, and having Information Organization be my main work.

I actually seem to be good at the latter — although, of course, we’re still dealing with MARC, not BIBFRAME. At this point, I don’t even really know how BIBFRAME is supposed to work, but I do know that XML and RDF are currently involved in building it. These tools may shift, the closer we get to actual implementation…whenever that comes.

OK, I just realized that no one except Librarians and LIS students, or Technical support staff, would likely understand that last paragraph. MARC is MAchine Readable Cataloging; basically, the successor to the physical card catalog. Only libraries use MARC, pretty much. BIBFRAME is the (supposed) successor to MARC, but it hasn’t been implemented yet. BIBFRAME is expressed in XML records (XML is eXtensible Markup Language, and related to SGML and HTML). RDF is the Resource Description Framework, which is built on a Graph database model, as versus your (presently) regular Relational database model, for example Oracle, Access, or MariaDB.

Basically, you create phrases: Subject – Predicate – Object, like (The Beatles) – (sang) – (Yellow Submarine). “The Beatles” here is a string of words which would have its own unique, separate identifier. The same goes for “Yellow Submarine”. Together with the predicate, “sang,” (which has its own unique definition and identifier) they form an RDF Triple, all the parts of which can be recombined with other parts, and together they form a record — so if you were searching for, “who ‘sang’ ‘Yellow Submarine’?” — you would get an answer translated into human-readable form, “The Beatles,” (in whatever language) along with anyone else who was recorded as having covered the song. You could also ask, “what did ‘The Beatles’ ‘sing’?”, which should retrieve everything that has been recorded which they sang. You could further break down “The Beatles” into its constituent band members, correlate McCartney with Wings as well as The Beatles, etc.

A bonus is the possibility that AI will in the future, be able to “understand” what the phrases mean, as versus records which are readable to humans, but not to machines — as happens when data input relies on non-unique strings of characters. (“The Beatles” means something to us [they’re a band, they made music, etc.], but not necessarily to machines [what is a “band”? what is “music”?].)

A table of RDF Triples with the same Predicate (‘sang’) forms part of a Graph database, which to my understanding is a collection of such tables…though that seems a little off. I could be wrong.

That’s how I understand it, in a nutshell, but I really need to be studying this, more. My information is a bit rusty: I last read about this, at least two years ago. Apologies if I inserted information that isn’t true, here.

The incentive to switch to BIBFRAME is to integrate Libraries with the larger Information world, instead of forming its own Information silo and possibly going extinct as the Internet supersedes it: Google Graph Search already uses some of this technology, from what I have heard. (I haven’t looked into the back end of it, though.) Forming XML as a rigorous method of conveying (and validating: making sure the code makes sense) information is simple enough, but when the files get complicated, they can be something of a headache to try and visually read.

I guess making the decision to not learn the skills is like not reading a textbook, because it will always be superseded by a later and newer (and supposedly improved) version. Or it could be like not reading any books at all: as our knowledge is always imperfect, why read the imperfect thing, rather than hold out for the perfect one?

But it doesn’t really make any sense to hold out for a later version, because even that later version will be imperfect, in relation to the future that builds on it.

My intuition is saying, don’t count yourself out of the process, as I could be part of the unfolding of the process. And knowing something which becomes obsolete has to be better than knowing nothing about the field at all?

Maybe it would be of use to try and live in the present. I know I’m just beginning, but at least this is interesting.

It’s about to be Friday…I have a few records to amend before I can submit them, but otherwise, my time is free. The question is, whether to put the work first (I have been hoping to add a few fields to my MARC records in order to attempt to excel: I have not been taught the specific way to do this, but I’m resourceful), or to do something like paint, which at the very least, will draw me back to the present. The thing is, it’s much easier to stay in the present, when one doesn’t have looming deadlines. It’s just a horrible thing to have five hours left before the project is due, and it isn’t finished, yet.

Everything that has to be done, is done — other than cross-referencing my first five records. I should remember that. I’m just such a perfectionist that it’s hard to leave it alone. I found mistakes in those records, today: I bet my Prof. was just waiting for me to see it!
Maybe I should be looking at Art History training…

April 10th, 2022

As I begin this post, it is Sunday evening, soon to be night. I really need to get my sleeping pattern together, and stop staying up into the early morning in order to write. Of course, that means that I’ll have to then wake up earlier; I’ve been sleeping in, in order to avoid getting sick.

I had to go to the dentist’s office not long ago, and took a PCR test tonight, due to suspicions that I picked up a pathogen there. I have been feeling better; especially since over the past three days, I’ve been going to bed either when I’m tired, or after I’m tired. Tonight, I may turn in by 11 PM or earlier. I am already tired; I’m just trying to avoid my body thinking that I’m taking a little nap and will be up again by 1:30 AM.

Is it normal to feel a little, “off,” when you breathe the same air (unmasked, indoors) as people outside your household for the first time in months? Anyhow, the PCR test came back clean. If I do have COVID, it’s the Stealth version.

I really need to get a lot, together. Right now, I still have the time to do so. Particularly, I need to figure out what I really want to do with my life, outside of what the government would prefer.

Since I was young — at least since Middle School, I’ve had this dual drive between art and writing. Both of these factors are, interpersonally speaking, a bit fraught. I’ve been practicing art on my own since at least the eighth grade, but there were complications around it within my family (I come from a cluster of artists, and wanted to be different from my sibling — which is [I now realize] a silly reason not to have majored in Art, when I had the chance).

If I look back on it, my entire post-secondary educational history has been marked by committing to things before I knew what I was getting into. Sometimes, as with my Creative Writing degree, this kind of fumbling in the dark has actually led me to gain productive skills.

Seriously, I didn’t realize how badly most people write…

But there is always the question of how to translate that to the job market. I would like to write, but that doesn’t necessarily mean that I want to be, at least, a B2C Copywriter. (Being a B2B writer, is different.) I don’t (yet) have the skills to be a Technical Writer. My style tends towards the lengthy, intricate, and verbose; not the short, succinct, and unambiguous. The latter, for me, is achieved by paring down and excising large amounts of the former.

I majored in Creative Writing, that is, not Writing. Not Business Writing, not Technical Writing. While I may easily be able to create an academic journal article, I may not be the best person to write an Abstract for that article. But if I am going to write a journal article, I had better understand what I’m writing about, first. That infers either further training, or in-depth scholarship on my own.

If I’m going to do in-depth scholarship, I need to actually pick a field of specialization…which depends on nothing except myself. I am not sure I have the heart or the guts to specialize in Sociology. Library Science — I’m not sure what I would write about (for a popular audience, at least). Art? I love Art, and I love Art History. I just get seriously piqued when Art History is, by default, Eurocentric.

But maybe I’d make a good author of non-Eurocentric Art History texts? Or, maybe I’d be a good Museum Librarian (an early dream of mine which was crushed in the Public Library setting)? I could then, also, become an Art History Subject Specialist/Departmental Liaison, in an Academic Library setting?

Realistically speaking, I’ve grown up in a household where one parent graduated from a University, and that parent was the first in their family to do so. Right now, I’m a member of the second generation on that side to have a degree (well, seriously speaking: two degrees or more)…the point is, I didn’t have a lot of guidance where it came to my major. I didn’t even know it was important to have a lot of guidance.

Without a strong post-secondary Math background (for a path like Accounting or Computer Science), and without strong interpersonal skills (which may be typical for a Writer), I’m not sure where that leaves me. (What is also typical for a Writer is having to have a day job to pay the bills.)

I mean, do I really go back into Art (and, I’d say, somehow try to make the, “people,” angle of Graphic Design, work — except it seems to be entirely people work)? Do I look for Administrative Assistant roles — even though they require answering random phone calls, and greeting guests? (M did say that I may be good for a File Clerk position…)

The major issue I’m confronting right now is the frequent request for an applicant to have, “excellent interpersonal skills,” to be, “service-focused,” and to care about, “people.” (This includes the Library field.) I mean, seriously? If I had known that interpersonal skills were going to be so indispensable, I wouldn’t have studied so hard over the last 25 years. I would have partied, instead of wracking my brain to the point of tears, over Honors Math.

I mean, am I just looking in the wrong places for jobs? Are the administrative people who are hiring everyone else, the people who were partying while I was crying: and they want to hire people just like them?

Gah.

In any case, I’m trying to figure out how I want to spend the rest of my life, given the assumption that I have a choice about it. I think I may have reached a good point in the above when I began speaking about Art History. It’s a thread of hope to follow, at least.
Paintbrushes

April 10th, 2022

Do you know how much easier it is to make art, when you know your materials are not going to last forever? I’m not talking about fugitive colors, or student-grade paints: I’m talking about paintbrushes.

I’ve run up against the stressful part of writing fiction, again: being too close to the work. However, I did do some painting yesterday — and the potential sheer unpleasantness of the story I had been working on, is making me want to get back to the canvas. It’s relatively peaceful, that is, when I’m in a flow state — even if I’m not using the intellectual portion of my brain. All I’m worried about is making something — in this case — of beauty.

I’m actually kind of wanting to start some side projects along with my main canvas: my draw towards color (with more depth and saturation and broad strokes than I can get from drawing) is a very big reason I’m into painting at all, and right now I am feeling a bit restrained with the color palette of the, “goddess,” canvas. There are a lot of earth tones, with the breaks being a sky blue, and a yellow. I’m trying to figure out right now, whether I want to intentionally alter this, or leave it after the original.

I am, however, learning a lot about how brushes work…I had a #2 hog bristle filbert wet for so long, today, that the bristles actually got soft! It’s been a while since that has happened, as much of the time when I’m using the hog bristle brushes, I’m dipping them into Glazing Medium before using them with colors. I’m not, that is, putting them frequently into water. Today I was using it, then rinsed it and left it to sit on top of my water cup, with water in the bristles so that the paint wouldn’t dry in there. It was saturated and kind of floppy, by the time I got around to washing it.

I hadn’t resumed painting for a very long time…but I’m finding that for now, inexpensive hog bristle brushes are OK for my purposes. In the Art program, I found out the hard way that acrylics on gessoed board will wear these brushes down to nubs. Letting the bristles get soggy probably helps this along; and could be part of the reason why my Painting instructor said to save hog bristle for oils.

Of course, I was also using, “acrylic gesso (Liquitex Basics),” which is fairly toothy; not the calcium carbonate + rabbit glue mixture I’ve seen spoken of online (which Wikipedia states is only useful for oil painting; I’ll take the explanation for now).

We were also using Purdy brushes to apply the gesso. “Purdy,” is a specific brand name referring to a family of sashing (or, house-painting/artisan) brushes. The one I used for this specific canvas has bristles that feel like monofilament fishing line.

What I can tell you is that Purdy brushes — even though the one I used on this most recent painting, had flagged tips (that is, each filament ends in more than one tip) — are very tough, and they will give your gesso a texture. This was on top of the texture of the plywood we were painting on. I believe I sanded it before priming it…I’m not sure of what happened later. The thing about using wood is that the wood grain will rise up if it’s exposed to water. I’m pretty sure I must have had to sand that down multiple times, between applying coats of that water-based gesso. (This isn’t as much of an issue with hardboard, to the best of my recollection.)

Sanding dried gesso does seem as though it would come with its own health precautions (take, for example, the relatively recent classification of Titanium Dioxide as carcinogenic; not because it is necessarily toxic, but because — when ground down to nanoparticle size — it has other effects on the lungs). Even plaster of paris has its own precautions (which I must have been unaware of when working with it as a youth) — it’s just not good to breathe that stuff in, especially if it’s easily avoidable.

On a quick lookup, I should note: not all white materials commonly used by artists are the same. Chalk (calcium carbonate), talc (hydrous magnesium silicate), and Pigment White 6 (titanium dioxide) — and for that matter, plaster of paris (calcium sulfate hemihydrate), which is derived from gypsum (calcium sulfate)…they are different things. Because they’re different things in reality, they have different precautions one needs to take if one uses them — which does depend on a lot (that I’m not prepared to get into, right now).

(I’m not even going to talk about Lead White, though that particular pigment [or pigment family, as seems to be the case] is of more use in oil painting, than in acrylics. For obvious reasons [not least of which being the fact that I’ve never painted in oils; I saw what it did to others], I’ve never used it.)

Also because of this, not every gesso is as harmful as every other one. I was using student-grade Liquitex Basics in school, which has no warnings on its Material Safety Data Sheet. The regular Liquitex gesso, however, contains talc — which is dangerous if it is contaminated with asbestos. Even then, in my eyes, it might not of necessity be a large issue unless it is sanded and inhaled (as the asbestos would be bound by the acrylic polymer and would not normally get in contact with the user, except if they didn’t wear a glove while washing their brushes). If sanding something that did contain talc, it very well would be something with which to take precautions, if ever to attempt at all (given that I have not run across anything [anything recent, let’s say] mentioning the separation of asbestos from talc. Both minerals co-occur, in nature).

If we were going to look at everything associated with asbestos as dangerous, though, I’d look at watercolors made with ground Tiger Eye and Serpentine. Just saying.

Anyhow: I was apparently working on a very rough surface, which may have arisen in part from my teacher being a muralist. Letting the brushes get soppy and weak, and then using them on such unforgiving surfaces, probably didn’t help with avoiding wear.

I’ve reached the point where I realize that hog bristle brushes will not last forever, and aren’t meant to. Because of this, I tried out a very inexpensive set of them, for my current work: though I am very partial to Princeton Catalyst Polytip brushes. (No, they aren’t paying me; yes, I did buy them myself.) The Polytips — at least, the #4 round I have — perform like hog bristle, but (being synthetics) they don’t get soft with water absorption. They also are flagged at the tip of each bristle — like hog bristle — which means they can be very firm along their length and still have a responsive touch on the canvas.

Right now, for detail work, I’m mostly using a store brand of hog bristle brushes. I haven’t known (I mean, really known) how long I will continue to do this. I have had to see how I liked it, first — and I’m still seeing how I like it. I also had never given this particular store anything of a shot, where it came to their natural-bristle brushes. I have used one of their student-grade synthetics: trying to work with that, was almost worse than not having a brush at all (the fact that I didn’t know yet not to use water as a thinner, contributed to this) — but natural hair, I thought, would be different.

I’ve found that the store brand brushes are fairly decent, though I did not get them to last a long time. After bringing them home and washing the glue out of the ends, as well, I was a little worried with the stray hairs leaning away from the brush: this is not an interlocked-bristle model (all hog bristles have a curvature; the interlocked-bristle brushes have the bristles curving inward), so the brushes look a little wild when dry. Not to mention that the bristles are fairly long, so they don’t hold their shape as well as they could. I’ll try to keep that in mind, next time.

However, when it comes to how they actually perform, the store brand brushes are better than the worn ones I had, but not as accurate as I’d expect the Polytips to be. I’d also expect a Chungking interlocking bristle brush like my Signets, to outperform them — but I don’t have the Signets in such tiny sizes to compare!

Anyhow, when the store-brand brushes are in use (I’m using heavy-body paints, and fluid glazing medium more than water), the bristles actually do hold together pretty well.

I believe I could get better accuracy in detail if the brushes were of higher quality (that is, with firmer individual fibers), but right now I’m OK: especially since they worked out to cost about $6, each. That’s extremely inexpensive. For $6 each, I don’t feel bad taking a nail clipper to a persistent stray bristle. Nor am I going to feel bad when they eventually wear down; I’ll take it as a mark of passage, and buy better brushes, next time.
Realistic greens

April 2nd, 2022

Today, I tried mixing five different yellow paints with Golden’s Phthalo Blue (Green Shade [or, “GS”]) acrylic paint, making spectrums of color from yellow to blue. I’ve had issues for a very long time with trying to mix realistic greens — luckily, it’s a bit easier in acrylics, than in watercolors! (At least, my first try at this was in watercolors — I now have more experience, which may make the difference.)

I now recognize at least part of why it has been difficult for me to get a green that looks like it could occur in reality: a “greener” yellow will not necessarily produce a more intense and realistic green color. Color “impurities” — what other colors exist within a paint — matter, that is. I have a feeling they’re more essential than might be guessed.

UPDATE: I’ve decided it will be more helpful than not to post the photo of my work, although the rest of this entry assumes I have not.

UPDATE II: I’ve deleted the griping about my inability to properly adjust the photo below. Just know that it’s an imperfect image of the real thing. In particular, the entire PY3 column is much brighter in reality, and pretty much all of the dark blue-greens are much more vivid than I could make them.

Here you go.

For those who know about pigment codes already (PY=”Pigment Yellow,” PB=”Pigment Blue”) and want to skip to the point, PY74 (Liquitex Yellow Medium Azo), a bright banana-hue yellow, makes the most gorgeous and usable greens with Phthalo Blue (GS) alone, out of all the pigments I tried (PY3 [Yellow Light Hansa], PY74 [Yellow Medium Azo], PY83 [Diarylide Yellow], PY139 [Indian Yellow], and PY42 [Yellow Oxide] — all of these are Liquitex brand, except for Diarylide Yellow, which is Golden brand).

PY139 (Indian Yellow) mixed with PY74 (Yellow Medium Azo) to brighten it, plus Phthalo Blue (GS) and Ultramarine Blue (Red Shade, or “RS”), give the closest approximation to lush greenery I’ve been able to achieve by mixing single-pigment colors. At least — I believe it’s Liquitex’s Indian Yellow (PY139) that I used in that sample…it may have been PY83, Golden’s Diarylide Yellow.

I can’t be certain: PY139 and PY83 are very similar in hue. They just mix a little differently, with PY139 being just slightly bluer, or cooler, in my mixes.

I’ve been trying — for years — to avoid using known toxic substances in my art; however, it’s very obvious to me now, why some people use known less-safe pigments. Sometimes, that is, it’s easier (and in the long run, cheaper) than trying to find a suitable replacement, and I can see people saying that good hygiene should be a studio essential, anyway (although it often isn’t followed). Finding a replacement for cadmium yellow and cadmium red has taken up a good deal of my time.

Even though I don’t know what’s in Liquitex’s Cadmium-Free Heavy Body paints (which were made to approximate the behavior, hue, and opacity of the cadmium pigments), I might want to try them — and just follow the safety protocol given. The hazards of cadmium (not just to myself, but in the environment, where it may bioaccumulate and poison someone or something down the line) just feel too severe. As time goes on, we do find better and safer colors — I know, because I’ve been looking for them (and often finding them), for years.

What I can do right now, and not totally fail at; is describe the colors I experimented with today (for you to look at in reality, if you have the same paints), and note — at least, for myself — some broad ideas about which paints to use, when.

PY3, or Hansa Yellow Light (you will often see these words on the paints using this pigment, but not in any predictable order: I just like calling it Hansa Yellow Light instead of Yellow Light Hansa), is a blue-leaning, very intense, very light-colored pigment. Mixed with Phthalo Blue (GS), it produces a series of vivid greens that all lean blue. Because they lean so far blue, without additional color to alter the mixture, we end up looking at a green which is usable in high-key paintings (that is, they have a lot of vividness), but the color is not highly realistic.

PY74, or Yellow Medium Azo, is a midtone yellow which reminds me of banana peel in hue. This yellow produced the most realistic greens when combined with Phthalo Blue (GS). If I had to choose only one yellow to have, and I had to stick with Phthalo Blue (GS), it would be this yellow. The greens are more midrange, looking as though they could be chlorophyll; however, I would shift to a different mixture for shadow areas of trees, and the like. More on this, later.

PY83, or Diarylide Yellow, is a beautiful pigment, almost mango-colored. It leans more orange than Yellow Medium Azo, and as a consequence, when mixed with Phthalo Blue (GS), the mixture is increasingly muddied, the more yellow is included. However, for some reason, I got a really nice, deep and rich green out of it when more Phthalo Blue (GS) was added; though those proportions produce a mixture which is very dark in value. (“Value” is the lightness or darkness of a color, shade, or tint, regardless of which of those, it is.)

PY139, or Indian Yellow (Liquitex), is close to Diarylide Yellow when painted straight out of the tube; however, it is just a slight bit duller, whereas Diarylide Yellow is more luminous — I’m not sure why. Mixing Indian Yellow with Phthalo Blue (GS) produces a very nice dull green very quickly and easily. This was the first mixture I painted out, and it shocked me how quickly the mixture turned to a mid-green (although Phthalo Blue is known for its ability to tint mixtures very quickly and strongly). Consequently, I did not know what to do, and missed out on exploring the more blue-green avenues of this mixture. The mid-green I immediately got, however, is bluer and slightly clearer (less muddy and less reddish) than Diarylide Yellow plus the same blue. That might be desired; it might not be.

PY42, or Yellow Oxide (Liquitex) did surprise me with the range of greens I was able to obtain by mixing it with Phthalo Blue (GS). This is an earth tone, essentially what other people may call a yellow ochre (or ocher). Particularly, mixing Phthalo Blue (GS) with a little Yellow Oxide, makes a very dark and rich green — but in low lighting, one may not be able to clearly tell that it is green. This mixture would be good for shadows. I probably wouldn’t use this mixture as more yellow is added, as it tends to look just like a muddy dull yellow.

For a clearer green in the light-valued ranges, I’d lean toward Yellow Medium Azo and alter the color from there, either using a different blue, or adding bits of other colors (like an orange-leaning yellow) to tone down what is essentially a bright, garlic-sprout greenish yellow.

I’ll add to what I mentioned at the beginning of this post: the nicest greens — indeed, the nicest colors — I’ve gotten have not been simple two-color mixtures. In any case, it’s not possible or desirable to keep all paints from interacting with each other on the palette. A little bit of contamination, in my experience, has had a tendency to increase color harmony in the piece by introducing complexity and relations between different areas with the same color.

As well, it may be in some cases, enough to note a masstone (what is the hue? [yellow, blue, etc.]) and an overtone (what is the major color that modifies the hue? [orange modifying yellow, red modifying blue, green modifying blue, etc.]), plus temperature (does the color lean hot [violet/red/orange] or cool [yellow/green/blue]?) in a paint — rather than seeking out one pigment or another by name. I’ve started to try and get single-pigment paints because I’ve read they mix more reliably than what are called, “convenience mixtures,” or pre-mixed colors, like Hooker’s Green Hue Permanent.

Of course, that means I’ve had to find out for myself, how to mix a decent green.

The major exception to looking just at hue, overtone, and temperature, which I can think of, has to do with transparency: a transparent pigment will likely show brush strokes, whereas I don’t think this is a problem so much, with opaque pigments (I just noticed the brushstroke thing, today).

I found a deep shaded-grass green through using an orange-leaning yellow (like Diarylide or Indian Yellow), plus a little Yellow Medium Azo to punch up the brightness of the yellow. I then combined that with Phthalo Blue (GS) and a little Ultramarine Blue (RS). Adding too much Ultramarine will start pulling you off into indigo, but otherwise, it’s possible to get a very deep, lush green.

There’s likely something going on with the violet in the Ultramarine, and the orange in either of the orange-leaning yellows. I can hypothesize that they make a chromatic gray which deepens the tone and allows the green to come through more clearly (though magenta/violet and orange are not really “opposites” — they both sit to one side or another of red on a painter’s color wheel — which is, actually, opposite of green on the color wheel [which probably matters: red cancels out green to make a chromatic grey])…but honestly, I don’t have a spectroscope, and it isn’t really possible to separate out the orange from the yellow, and the violet/magenta from the Ultramarine.
Replacing old acrylics

March 26th, 2022

I was recently able to actually get out to an art supply store, instead of ordering and then waiting two weeks for my stuff to arrive. It’s one of the first times I’ve been outside of the house for anything other than food (or medical), in…months.

Everyone at the art supply store was friendly and helpful. Even though extra crew members did have to come along to staff the registers, it was really nice. I did have to dip in and out to get some stuff which people were standing too close to, for too long (I call it “butterflying”; maybe it’s more like “hummingbirding”), but that was minor.

As well…it looks like the job market is picking up. I’m not sure what it means for me that so many of these jobs are service positions, but we do live in a service economy, after all. Family has said that I actually could work at an art supply store. Although I did have a tough time with customer service in prior positions (who doesn’t have a tough time with customer service), at least the people at the art store knew to step up when they were needed (and actually did, which matters). There was a team element there which I appreciated. Recognized, and appreciated, maybe I should say; we had a similar ethic in my last two jobs. It was hard, but we had each other.

I also appreciated the fact that they were cleaning the checkout counters between customers…not to mention that I’ve got a lot of (functional) paints now, to replace the ones that were so old that they were beginning to cure. I mentioned before that the newest of these was probably six years old.

What’s interesting is the fact that one of the decades-old paints, survived better than some of the ones that were closer to a quarter of its age. Despite the fact that I opened (and had to discard) a tube which looked like it had clear tar medium mixed into it (or rather, separating out of it), I also found one which had to be at least two decades old, which had a better consistency than the newer versions (an old Liquitex Dioxazine Purple, which, from the design of the tube, I gather was likely from the 1980’s or 1990’s). Granted, that’s the only one out of all of them which lasted so well (granted that I did not get into the student-grade paints, or the craft paints — or the metallics, for that matter).

I’m not sure why the ones which survived, did survive, and the ones which gummed up, did so — but I’m learning to discern when a paint is going bad, by looking through all of them and testing their consistency on a disposable palette. In theory, they should be smooth; many of the older ones, aren’t.

The older heavy-body acrylics we have, which are mostly Liquitex, have had a tendency to turn viscous over time and hold together when I try to draw them out with a brush (they’re elastic and springy, in other words, like bread dough: they shouldn’t be). The worse they are, the grainier and bumpier they are, instead of dispersing smoothly. A stiffer brush — like hog bristle — stands up to them better, and if they aren’t too far gone, you can break up the clumps with a brush which has first been dipped in water or glazing medium. The worst of all the tubes I tried was an Ultramarine (Red Shade), which was so clotted as to be unusable.

I assume this is not how they were intended to function, fresh from the factory. But then, I say this without yet having tried out the newer paints: even if they are from the beginning of the pandemic, however (which is appearing unlikely), they’re still much younger than what I had.

The only variable which I could control with the older paints, is how tightly the lids were screwed onto the tubes. Now that I think about it, there may be something in the paint formulation at the factory that influences paint consistency. Not all paints are made the same way, because not all pigments have the same properties.

Out of all the paints that I got today, only Yellow Medium Azo appears questionable (from a quick look). It appears drier than the rest, which all appear creamy and smooth and shiny in the tube — like the paints which I know, still work.

The thing is, I didn’t want to jump for a Bismuth (Ortho)vanadate (PY184, or Pigment Yellow 184) even though it was a direct replacement, because of its potential to irritate basically everything (skin, eyes, nose/sinuses, lungs — which is, basically, everything that might come into contact with it, unless you’re eating your paint). If I had been strictly after replacing what I had (an old Liquitex Professional Heavy Body Cadmium Yellow Light [?] Hue: it’s no longer being sold under this name [Liquitex now has a “Cadmium-Free” line as versus “Cadmium Hue(s)”]), I would have gotten a PY184 pigment…but I’ll give the less-toxic option a try, first. (The “Cadmium-Free” Liquitex Professional Heavy Body paints have proprietary formulas…so with the replacement for Cadmium Yellow Light, I really didn’t know what was in it, or if it was even less toxic than cadmium: this is the reason I left it.)

The thorn here is that Bismuth Vanadate paint, as Golden calls it — at least in acrylics — seems to mix really well for a yellow, especially when I get into trying to mix greens and brighten earth tones. It’s opaque, and it’s a really lovely color. I hardly ever use the term “lovely”.

I think the last time I used that term was in watercolors, with M. Graham & Co.’s Ultramarine Violet Deep…which reminded me of the color of fringed gentians. (Then I looked up fringed gentians online and saw they were a different color than I recalled.) Ultramarine Violet Deep (PV15) is a much more delicate version of violet than my standard of Dioxazine Violet (PV23), the latter of which can easily overpower a mixture. I took a chance on the Ultramarine Violet (there were no especial indications of what color it actually was, at the store), and was pleasantly surprised. I suppose M. Graham & Co. knows that their quality is so high that they don’t, actually, have to advertise.

Anyhow, it’s a pain to try and mix realistic greens — a lot of yellow pigments are either transparent, or poorly-tinting, or toxic. With acrylics, it’s even difficult, unless you start with a convenience mixture and/or use some of the paints that look super ugly on their own, but work miracles in mixes and glazes (like Winsor & Newton’s Green Gold watercolor, which is comparable to Daniel Smith’s Rich Green Gold watercolor, both containing PY129: which looks, to my eye, pretty bad by itself — but it punches up the yellow content in a blue or green considerably, while adding relatively little to dilute the vibrancy of the resulting green). This last time around, I did get a Green Gold in acrylics. We’ll see where that leads.

I’m also finally trying out a Hooker’s Green Permanent Hue this time in acrylics. No more beating around the bush. Just go for the classic: it’s a classic for a reason, and it isn’t toxic, this time. No drawbacks.

I’m also fortunate that my family is encouraging me on the art front. I’ve reached the point of realizing that painting isn’t just about reproducing 3-D space on a 2-D surface; it’s also about realizing an external version of an internal vision. That latter part was something that we never got into, in my classes. I wish we had — I might have tried harder to hang in there with my practice, after I had other pressures on my time.

I’m thankful that I have the time and support to be able to pursue this. And, I’m apparently good at it. I haven’t posted any images here yet because I at least initially intended this blog to be more about books and libraries: this is why it has the layout it does, at the moment. Nice typography can go a long way towards readability…and I don’t, at this point, have an image-heavy blog; I have a text-heavy one.

Though, you know, with a name like “kodecy”, it kind of begs the angle of sequential art…(the name is derived from, “codice,” which is Spanish for “codex,” or an ancient manuscript [these were often illustrated]).

But I might look into other options in the future, as regards the CSS and Web Design. Not that I love taking pictures, but people love seeing pictures, so there’s that…